As I start to come out and transition, I find my social experiences to be split into two (mostly) separate groups. Most people (my family, co-workers and some of my friends) know me by my birth name, and use female pronouns when they refer to me. A select, different group of people know me as Adam and always use male pronouns when they refer to me. This group is very small, and right now pretty much confined to other LGBT folk but I am gradually expanding it. Crammed in between the two groups lies CV and my closest friend. CV mostly uses my birth name and female or neutral pronouns and my friend avoids using either name or pronouns for the most part.
I am not sure exactly how I feel about this. Some trans people are really offended if you refer to them by their birth name instead of their chosen name or use the wrong pronouns. Some don't care as much. Because I am so early in my transition, I don't really expect much from anyone as far as getting my pronouns right. I think when I am further along, like when I start T or get my name and gender marker legally changed, I'll be stricter about it but I don't correct people now. Most people in public get it right (at least as far as I know), and I'm more happy and surprised when they get it right than annoyed or upset when they get it wrong. I don't feel like I pass very well, because I haven't come up with any really good binding or packing solutions and alot of my clothes are still somewhat girl-cut though I tend to wear everything big.
It's probably weird, but I cringe inside whenever my parents refer to me as their "daughter" or use female pronouns even though they have absolutely no idea I'm trans. I think it's because I know that soon I will have to come out to them and that's going to be really hard on them. When CV calls me my birth name or uses female pronouns, I'm not really a fan, but I know it's new to him too and I don't really blame him. It doesn't upset me, and I don't find it disrespectful to my identity. He and my friend have known me for a while, and met me before I knew I was trans and I know there's going to be a transitional period for them as well. I'm just getting used to people knowing who I really am, as I hid it for such a long time, and it still feels awkward for m insist on male pronouns and Adam, even though that's what is most comfortable to me. I don't know if me being a submissive has anything to do with it, but I find it really hard to demand anything of anyone else.
I hope it gets easier as I transition and I expect it will especially once I have officially changed my name and gender marker. But for now, I'll just have to be content to live with two identities. Like some kind of inverse Hannah Montana.