A Beginner's Guide to Bondage

With 50 Shades of Gray's meteoric rise in popularity and this oft-ridiculed article from Cosmo, I thought I would write a real introduction to the world of BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism), one coming from someone in the lifestyle that stands a chance of being useful to actual people.

I already did a big rundown of various BDSM terminology and aspects here, (note: you should probably tackle that after you read this entry) but I fear that might turn off some of the more softcore individuals that are intimidated by even just the term 'Bondage,' let alone actual implements.  It can be difficult, with the wide world of BDSM, to figure out exactly where to start.  That's what this is for.

Right away I will make the disclaimer that I have not read the aforementioned novel, so I can't speak directly to the scenes in the book, but I do live in a BDSM-lifestyle relationship and have accumulated a lot of experience, so I will be speaking from that.

Retro Post: BDSM and Feminism

Within me there has been a sort of amicable duel between my belief in gender equality and my position as a Dominant within the BDSM culture.  At first glance, the latter seems to strike down the former.  I believe that my girlfriend has a certain place in our relationship in which she belongs, along with a set of duties and responsibilities.  There is an order to things that suggests a certain lack of equality.

Retro Post: Everyone Loves (Fetish) Porn

Inspired by a message from a cool gal I met online.

And PBS is AWESOME

Hell the title could be everyone loves porn and it would probably be just as true.  Finding accurate statistics regarding porn usage is all but impossible.  The only numbers I am actually willing to trust right now are from the Kinsey Report which found that 54% of men and 12% of women were aroused by erotic images.  Of course, that study was done in the 40s and 50s, when access to pornography was much harder to come by.

Retro Post: BDSM and Consent

One of the big things that comes up when a vanilla person views BDSM images is the non-consensual nature of BDSM.  Often they'll make a comment along the lines of "some of these girls don't look like they're enjoying themselves," or "it looks forced."

Retro Post: 5 Bondage Devices I'd Like to Use (As a Sub)

Well if you've clicked your way here, then I'm going to assume that you contain the requisite maturity to handle viewing and reading about such things.  If not, that is your fault and not mine.  Even though Extreme Restraints will not let me use images, I am going to display their purchase links, many of which use fully nude models.   If you're not 18, you shouldn't be here.

Retro Post: 5 Bondage Devices I'd Like to Use (As a Dom)

Well if you've clicked your way here, then I'm going to assume that you contain the requisite maturity to handle viewing and reading about such things.  If not, that is your fault and not mine.  Even though Extreme Restraints will not let me use images, I am going to display their purchase links, many of which use fully nude models.   If you're not 18, you shouldn't be here.

Retro Post: Pornography, An Unfair Reputation

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Retro Post: The Big BDSM Rundown

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An Introduction: The Other Side

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When I Knew I Was Different

These stories begin, as they almost always do, at a very early age.  I think I was probably six or seven years old playing some sort of typical boy game with a friend of the family's son who was a year or two younger than me.  I don't much remember the specifics, other than that it was summer and we were shirtless, but I remember getting hard.  At least I think I remember that.