Polygamy and Polyamory

This blog was created with the intent of exploring and sharing information and experiences on a variety of issues.  LGBT acceptance has been the focus, but we want to delve into BDSM, human sexuality itself, and everything in between and beyond.  Polyamory certainly falls into that realm.  But because of the bush-league tactics of some of the opposition, I want to point out that polyamory is not related to nor a natural extension of anything to do with LGBT acceptance.  There is no slippery slope.  It is something else entirely.

Citizenlink Tackles Pornography

Sometimes I'm at a loss at where to start with these things, so I will opt for honesty. CitizenLink is exactly what you'd expect from a conservative website devoted to producing "news." Their data and sources are often misrepresented legitimate studies at best and cherry picked figures from discredited researchers at worst. It is essentially exactly what you would expect the news arm of Focus on the Family to be. So this is...not a good study by any stretch of the imagination.

A Question for Anti-Gay Religious that I've Always Had

Clearly you've decided that certain bible passages are not applicable to yourself or daily life, among them Leviticus 19:19 which bans the use of cloth woven from two materials, Leviticus 11:1-12 which bans the consumption of unclean animals (i.e pigs or rabbits), and Exodus 22:20, one of the many passages that endorses slavery, but have chosen to uphold your interpretation of passages like Leviticus 18:22 which condemn homosexuality.

With this kind of baseless cherry picking, doesn't that make your beliefs and actions, not the word and will of God, but the word and will of you?  So really, you're not possessing any moral convictions, you're an idol worshipping bigot, enamored, not with anything holy, but with your own prejudices.

Open Relationships and Non-Conformity

About a week ago, one of presidential candidate Newt Gingrich's ex-wives revealed that he had once asked for an open relationship while they were married.  After she refused, he divorced her and shacked up with the mistress with which he wanted her to share.  The public response was, predictably, not positive.

I was kind of apathetic about the whole ordeal.  Don't get me wrong, that a candidate bases a part of his platform on believing in the sanctity of (straight) marriage and then runs around on not one, but two women is the kind of slimeball hypocrisy that we can only expect from politicians and reality TV stars.  (And isn't that line blurring more and more every day.)  But the concept of an open-marriage in itself isn't all that shocking to me, nor should it be for many people.

Different strokes for different folks as they say.  Everything has something unique that they want and bring to a relationship (or anything else for that matter).  Not understanding that is what continually gets our society in trouble.  We've done a lot of horrible things based on the belief that someone or something is weird, abnormal, or inferior.  So when I see something harmless that doesn't conform with my worldview, I take a minute to try and understand it.  Open marriage?  Who cares.

Retro Post: Everyone Loves (Fetish) Porn

Inspired by a message from a cool gal I met online.

And PBS is AWESOME

Hell the title could be everyone loves porn and it would probably be just as true.  Finding accurate statistics regarding porn usage is all but impossible.  The only numbers I am actually willing to trust right now are from the Kinsey Report which found that 54% of men and 12% of women were aroused by erotic images.  Of course, that study was done in the 40s and 50s, when access to pornography was much harder to come by.

Retro Post - The NYFRF Lies

Are you ready for some GREAT news? America is #prolife!

Usually I don't get into the abortion debate because I'm male and it (so far) has not really applied to me.  In general I believe that women should have the right to do with their body as they choose, but I strongly disagree with late term abortions and instances where it's used as emergency birth control by stupid teenagers.  But more to the point, the source where the NYFRF gets its data is this CNN poll.

The part I want to highlight are the first two questions the poll asked.

1). Do you think abortion should be legal under any circumstances, legal under only certain circumstances, or illegal in all circumstances?

25% - All abortions legal

53% - Some abortions legal

21% - No Abortions legal

2). Do you think abortion should be legal under any circumstances, legal under only certain circumstances, legal in a few circumstances or illegal in all circumstances?

25% - All abortions legal

12% - Most abortions legal

41% - Few abortions legal

21% - No abortions legal

That the NYFRF is counting that 41% as pro-life is absolutely absurd and the kind of preposterous lie that it, and organizations like it propagate.

Tennessee = Embarrassment

It's another sad story, one we've seen many times before; a Tennessee teen has killed himself because of anti-gay bullying.  Unfortunately this is not a unique case, but I want to highlight it because of the injustice that is going on in Tennessee right now.  There is a lot of it.

Seattle, Packers and the TSA

Seattle (no, I didn't get to go to the Space Needle)

This past week (Wednesday through Friday) I was in Seattle/Redmond, Washington for what was supposed to be a job interview on Thursday. I was advised before I flew out that there might be snow and was asked if I wanted to cancel. Since I'm not a pussy, I said no, that I'd fly out anyway and see how things went. As it turns out, Seattle is extremely ill prepared for snow and has basically no ability to plow anything so the six inches of snow they got were pretty apocalyptic for them. My interview was canceled for Thursday and rescheduled for Friday so I spent all day Thursday wandering around Redmond Town Center browsing their array of stores. I got a call Thursday night saying that my interview had been canceled Friday too and that I should just go home and they'd reschedule in a few weeks. I had dinner in the hotel restaurant with some other Microsoft candidates and then went back to my room to make some plans for tomorrow since my flight wasn't leaving until 10PM. Since Seattle seems like a very trans-friendly, sex-positive kind of area I decided to check out some of the sex shops online. I found one called Babeland that looked like they had a pretty good stock of FTM trans gear and decided to go look for a packer since I'd been wanting one for a while but wanted to get to handle them hands-one before making a purchase.

Retro Post: Sex Education, The Solution

Because it's easy to rip apart an existing system without offering a better one that is viable and works.  (I'm looking at you Marx and Engels).  I'm going to attempt to offer a solution to sex-education in America.  I may be in a bit over my head, but let's be honest.  I am really, really bored.

What the Fuck USCCB?

Recently the US Department of Health and Human Services announced that women in the United States will have their contraceptives covered by most insurance companies, free of co-pays.  It is important to note that most private insurers already do this for their female customers.  It is also important to note that access to contraceptives is only a small portion of what HHS is mandating Healthcare providers cover.  That list includes:

In Which I Render Focus on the Family Speechless

Earlier today, Focus on the Family posted a marriage help hotline (1-800-A-FAMILY) on Twitter. Well, what the he'll, I'll give it a ring I figured. The conversation:

Retro Post: Gay Marriage, You're Either For It, Or An Asshole

I largely subscribe to the Socrates quote "all I know is that I know nothing."  I try to continually understand that I am young, and am only an infinitesimal percentage of the world and universe and that my knowledge does not extend very far on a grand scale.  Therefore there are very few things I will assume that I am right about without question.

Big Damn Heroes

Some of you that follow me as a writer (and really, bless you), have noticed the more...active...stance I've taken on LGBT issues. I've moved most of my blog posts here and a lot of my free time has been spent figuring out who I can bother in regards to LGBT rights. (Which has been fun, but I digress.)

I referenced earlier today the writer Alvin McEwen, head of the blog Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters, as the inspiration for this blog. And while I do consider Alvin, and other writers like him to be heroes, the real heroes are not the famous figures sprinkled throughout history. There is one element that when missing makes Martin Luther King another casualty, makes Rosa Parks a woman on a bus, and makes GLSEN, GLAAD, and the SPLC organizations among the forgotten.

GLSEN Study Reveals LGBT Issues in Elementary Schools

Earlier today the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) released a study it had done on LGBT issues in American elementary schools.  GLSEN interviewed 1,065 Elementary school students in grades 3-6 and 1,099 Elementary school teachers of all grades (K-6) asking them about their experiences with LGBT issues in their schools for the purpose of getting a better feel for how these issues are approached in schools and what can be done to promote tolerance and decrease bullying.

Retro Post: BDSM and Consent

One of the big things that comes up when a vanilla person views BDSM images is the non-consensual nature of BDSM.  Often they'll make a comment along the lines of "some of these girls don't look like they're enjoying themselves," or "it looks forced."

The Southern Poverty Law Center

A lot of people see me throwing the term "hate group" at various organizations and I can see how it would be easy to think that I'm conjuring it out of some arbitrary standards within my own head.  I can assure you this is not the case.  Enter: The Southern Poverty Law Center, also known as the SPLC.

How I Became Known as Adam at Work

So I got a job at an on-campus food place last week and the hiring forms required me to put my legal sex (it actually said sex, not gender) and name. Since I haven't had my name or gender marker changed yet, I had to put down female and my birth name. My managers and co-workers had no idea about me being trans besides me presenting and in a work uniform of a t-shirt and baseball cap it's not all that obvious anyway. My name tag was printed for me, and it had my birth name on it. I finally mustered up the courage to peel off my birth name from the tag and print a sticker that said "Adam" instead for my name tag last Thursday after my shift. I didn't work again until yesterday and passed without any issues but my co-workers and managers still called me by my birth name and pronouns. My manager even called me "sister" and I cringed but it was in passing and I didn't have an opportunity to correct her.

Retro Post: Live Reactions to "Leading With Love" A Film About Parents' Reactions to their Kids' Coming Out

The Movie is only 35 minutes and is well worth a watch.

Spoilers everywhere below:

This is mainly for parents to deal with a child that recently came out so it's not really applicable to me.

"My child is a minority now, she's going to be discriminated against in this world." - Tearful mother of a lesbian.

It has to be tough to stand in front of your family and tell them you're gay.  I could never do that.

Wow this kid did it in front of his entire family, not just his immediate family.

"As soon as he said it, I felt relief." - Proud Dad that always knew what was going on.

Some of these parents are pretty honest in saying how shocked/disappointed they were at first.  I like that.

This father knew his son might be gay when he was a toddler.  Wow.

"Unfortunately all most parents know about being LGBT is the misinformation that's being spread."  Fuck you religious groups and conservatives.

"When you think of a gay person, you go straight to the sexual."  Very true I think.

This has a bit of a high school health video amateurishness to it, but it's not awful.

The Methodists are apparently very pro-LGBT.  Go Methodists.

This girl has an awesome sense of style.  Guess that works for lesbians too.

"When I realized either my son was going to be gay or my son was going to be dead, it just clicked."

"My mom didn't want anyone else to know."  Ouch.

And now the home videos.  Not a bad watch.

Hate Dossier: Focus on the Family, We Meet Again

Since Focus on the Family just aired another ad during an NFL game with their spot during Broncos - Patriots, it seems like now is a good time to shed some light on FotF and its founder James Dobson. (Clip of the Ad After the Jump)

Retro Post: 5 Bondage Devices I'd Like to Use (As a Sub)

Well if you've clicked your way here, then I'm going to assume that you contain the requisite maturity to handle viewing and reading about such things.  If not, that is your fault and not mine.  Even though Extreme Restraints will not let me use images, I am going to display their purchase links, many of which use fully nude models.   If you're not 18, you shouldn't be here.

The Unfair Explicitness of Homosexuality

You can see it in virtually every vile fraudulent homophobic argument ever made, the assertion that homosexual relationships are somehow more explicit than "normal" relationships.   You can see it in sodomy laws, still entrenched in the local rulebooks around the country (though toothless thanks to Lawrence v. Texas).  You can see it in the way people balk when images or implications of two men kissing arise.  To a large percentage of the straight populace, homosexuality is about those three words in the middle.  Why?

Are we not just like straight people?  Do we not have platonic relationships, do we not kiss, do we not hold hands, do we not go to dinner and see movies and shop?  Our relationships are not any different than those of straight people.  Yes one aspect of them that is different is the gender of who we choose to date, but that doesn't make us more sexualized, merely differently sexualized.

Retro Post: 5 Bondage Devices I'd Like to Use (As a Dom)

Well if you've clicked your way here, then I'm going to assume that you contain the requisite maturity to handle viewing and reading about such things.  If not, that is your fault and not mine.  Even though Extreme Restraints will not let me use images, I am going to display their purchase links, many of which use fully nude models.   If you're not 18, you shouldn't be here.

The Salvation Army

Let's get one thing straight, the Salvation Army may do some good work, but they are not a good organization by any stretch of the imagination.  They discriminate against LGBT individuals, and what's worse, they lie about it.

Retro Post: People Have Sex

PEOPLE HAVE SEX!

Stop hiding from this fact.

They do it orally, anally, and vaginally.  They do it with phallic shaped objects of all shapes and sizes.  Some vibrate, some do not.  Some are acrylic, some are plastic, some are even shaped like fists.  They do it with false vaginas, sometimes lubed, sometimes dry.

Retro Post: More to Story Involving Intolerance...Shocker

Note: This story is old, but I'm reposting it anyways to illustrate the kind of lies the oppressors will tell to make themselves look like the oppressed.

A few months ago it emerged that a student was supposedly suspended just for saying that homosexuality runs counter to his Christian upbringings.  My initial reaction to the story was, and I quote "he probably called someone a fucking faggot."

Retro Post: Culture Change

As various hate groups try to link the Penn State and Syracuse University scandals with the evils of homosexuality, it has become clear that they are right in a sense, just not in the way they think. There is a connection between homosexuality and the sex scandals, and it extends beyond to STD prevention, abortion prevention, teen pregnancies, and sexual education. What is abundantly clear is that this country needs a culture change in the worst way.

Hate Dossier: 'Porno' Peter LaBarbera and AFTAH

I've been developing a hate dossier over the past few months, essentially an excel spreadsheet of organizations big and small that have demonized Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered individuals.  Some of them have national recognition like the National Organization for Marriage, Focus on the Family, the Family Research Council, and Americans For Truth About Homosexuality, and some are smaller like the NY Family Research Foundation, Mass. Resistance, and so on.  Usually I lump these guys in together because most are fringe groups with limited support (NOM for example gets most of it's money from 5-6 donors who have been speculated to be high ranking Catholic officials), but I thought it would be good to shine the spotlight on each of them individually.  We begin with AFTAH.

Retro Post: Hypocrisy and Lies of the Anti-Gay Right

Jim Daly is the president of Focus on the Family, the group that was responsible for the Tim Tebow Super Bowl ad and a group that has ties to several Southern Poverty Law Center designated hate organizations.  Recently he wrote a nice little article complaining about how the religious right has been demonized by "hate."

Retro Post: Sex, the Dutch Model

An Older Article Regarding Britain following The Netherlands' lead in teaching sex education.

In a nutshell, the article details the progressive stance the Netherlands has taken regarding sex education and sex in general.  You can read the article yourselves, but a few high points:

• Sex Education begins in Primary (Elementary) School.  We're talking real sex education answering actual questions that kids have, not just "girls have vaginas and boys have penises, the end."  (Note: I can confirm this fact).

• “There is no point in telling children just to say ‘no' - this is a liberal country; you need to tell them why they are saying ‘no' and when to say ‘yes'. --- Dutch school headmaster Siebe Heutzepeter

• At secondary school the sex education is formalized and children are shown how to use various types of contraceptives, how to have “safe and pleasurable sex”, the importance of responsibility and how to recognize the symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases.

Update: The Buffalo Sabres and the Salvation Army

Some time ago I decided to send a letter to the Buffalo Sabres organization regarding their affiliation with the Salvation Army using the feedback button on their website.  After a week with no response I went to the contact I acquired when I questioned them about their upcoming anti-bullying PSA, their director of community relations.  We had a conversation today that was (I think) a step in the right direction.  Since nothing in that conversation seemed confidential or damning, I will post it in it's entirety after the jump.  My side of the conversation will be in red.

LGBT Individuals In Sports - We're Getting There

If you've been following either of my Twitter accounts over the last few days, you've noticed I've been nothing short of a major pain in the ass to many hockey media people regarding the recent Krys Barch incident in which the Panthers player allegedly used a racial slur.  My talking point has been the vastly disproportionate responses to Barch's (at this point unconfirmed) transgressions, and those of Flyers forward Wayne Simmonds (who called a player a faggot - 'confirmed' only by video and lip reading) earlier this season, asking the question; "If the NHL punishes Barch after not punishing Simmonds with similar evidence in both cases, does it come off as weak on homophobia versus racism?"

Letter to the NHL Regarding LGBT Treatment

Note: We've seen three ugly incidents this year in the NHL, two racist and one homophobic.  During the preseason a fan threw a banana at black forward Wayne Simmonds.  The fan was arrested and charged with engaging in a prohibited activity.  A few days later Simmonds was caught (video, no audio) uttering the word "faggot" at LGBT-friendly player Sean Avery.  Simmonds was not punished.  Now Krys Barch was ejected from a game for using an ethnic slur (no video or audio) at black defenseman P.K. Subban.  His hearing is scheduled for Tuesday.  If the NHL chooses to punish Barch with evidence similar to the Simmonds incident, it is essentially giving an allowance to homophobia.

Letter after the jump.

Retro Post: It Gets Better by Rebecca Drysdale (Lyrics after the Jump)

Retro Post: Pornography, An Unfair Reputation

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Retro Post: When Will We Get It Right?