Poly People Have Friends Too

Ever since I broke up with my longtime girlfriend in 2009, I've used OKCupid as a means for meeting people.  It's primarily a dating site, but includes options for platonic liaisons, friendships, 'activity partners,' and things like that.

In relocating to a new city, I've mainly been using it for the latter with the hope (but not requirement) that perhaps one of those friendships might turn out to be something more.  Unfortunately listing myself as polyamorous and in a relationship has been a major setback.

I can understand the fear with which people might approach someone of that nature, not knowing anything about them, or not fully understanding the terms they've attached to themselves.  That doesn't do much to curb my frustration when the only response I get in a message is something like "sorry, I'm not into couples."  This strikes at me twice, not just because I am poly, but because I am also LGBT.

You see, one of the key methods in which the religious right has used to denigrate LGBT people is to identify them solely by their sexual practices, and not as loving, committed partners, and...you know...actual human beings.  I feel the same way when people visit my profile (and I list that I'm looking for friends at least six times (seriously) in the first paragraph) and only see me in terms of my sexuality.  I can't help but picture the homophobic athlete that's afraid of getting leered at by gays in the locker room.  Get over yourself.

Lazy Sunday Links

I don't know whether this will become a recurring item or not.  On some rare occasions, an individual will sum up a topic so perfectly that I have little else to add.  These are those occasions:

Non Monogamy and Cheating by Queer Ramblings
Being polyamorous individuals in an open relationship, we are often prone to some misconceptions. This tackles them as well as I ever could and probably better.

Tony Perkins's File in the GLAAD Commentator Accountability Project
Wondering why the Family Research Council has long come under fire from a number of LGBT groups?  GLAAD sums it up nicely.

Get Informed - The Southern Poverty Law Center's Map of Hate Groups in the United States
Note that the SPLC doesn't give a hate group designation based on beliefs.  To earn the distinction, a group must spread false propaganda, lie about, or demonize a class of people.  To put it in other words, groups that simply oppose Marriage Equality on Religious Grounds (i.e. the Boy Scouts) are not listed as hate groups.  Groups that spread false information and discredited research (i.e. the Family Research Council) are.

Polyamory

I’ve been thinking a lot about polyamory lately, what it is, and how it pertains to me. Like with most things, I think any definition will vary person to person. We humans like to classify and organize things, but when it comes to ourselves that’s all but impossible.

Polygamy and Polyamory

This blog was created with the intent of exploring and sharing information and experiences on a variety of issues.  LGBT acceptance has been the focus, but we want to delve into BDSM, human sexuality itself, and everything in between and beyond.  Polyamory certainly falls into that realm.  But because of the bush-league tactics of some of the opposition, I want to point out that polyamory is not related to nor a natural extension of anything to do with LGBT acceptance.  There is no slippery slope.  It is something else entirely.