Monday, May 7, 2012


I’ve been thinking a lot about polyamory lately, what it is, and how it pertains to me. Like with most things, I think any definition will vary person to person. We humans like to classify and organize things, but when it comes to ourselves that’s all but impossible.

I have a strong emotional attachment to a select group of people; friends, family members, and my partner. Probably all of these connections could be described as love, but different types. You could make a romantic/platonic distinction, but I’ve been intimate with an individual that isn’t my partner, and while there are overlaps in my feelings and the futures I see with each person, there are differences as well. Is one love, is neither love, or is it as I suspected, a multifaceted definition that is applicable to no one but myself?

If you asked me to label the ‘extra’ (for lack of a better term), BGF or best-girl-friend is probably what I would settle on. Something more than friendship, but something short of a relationship. Probably closer to the former than the latter, but I can see something more, or something else with unnamed and unmet others in the future, all without taking a single thing away from what I have with my partner.

I'm not sure it's something I'll ever get a handle on as I go through life with friends that grow and shrink in closeness (and those that never leave my side). There is a certain connection that we have with those we meet and choose to spend more time with and the connection I have personally with each person I meet will depend on who and where we are at that time in our lives.

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