tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33209000300056265792024-02-22T10:39:49.969-05:00Rainbow MasochismPoint of View Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Activism With a Little Kink and Human Sexuality Thrown Incatshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.comBlogger179125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-47872019666661794562013-04-05T16:46:00.000-04:002013-04-05T16:46:07.363-04:00An Easy Answer to the Incest Question Regarding Marriage EqualityIf you're like me and frequent read the worst in conservative trash, you've seen this hypothetical question thrown out there by opponents of Marriage Equality: <i>If Gays Can Marry, Why Not Brothers and Sisters? </i>The point is for conservatives to get Marriage Equality proponents to admit that marriage isn't just about love thus lending credence to their rhetoric about the biological creation of children, among other things. Lately I've seen this repurposed as <i>If it's about benefits, won't mothers marry their sons for those benefits?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Both of these questions are stupid. Why? Because slippery slope arguments only work if there is an actual slope, i.e. a connection between two points. The notion that Marriage Equality is going to open the floodgates for any sort of cultural apocalypse is <i>preposterous</i>. There is no connection between homosexuality and pedophilia, or bestiality, or incest, and to suggest that there is, is to rub your balls on the face of science, not to mention common sense.<br />
<br />
If you're going to advocate banning something because it might lead to something else, you should probably have tangible evidence that <b>it actually leads to that other thing.</b><br />
<br />
<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-12765001571194096852013-02-27T22:58:00.003-05:002013-02-27T22:58:20.402-05:00Sex Education in the United StatesI've written on this topic numerous times, and likely will continue to do so in the future. There are several studies out there detailing what is effective and what isn't, and why and I would encourage you to read them, though they are not necessary for this article.<br />
<br />
As I found when researching this, sex education is a nebulous topic. There are some districts that lump it in with HIV/AIDS discussions, and some that don't. There are some districts that teach both and vary what they do and do not teach within the two, and some that don't. For the purposes of this article I considered either of them to be a discussion on sex education. As state laws often change, I encountered numerous discrepancies, generally falling back on <a href="http://www.guttmacher.org/statecenter/spibs/spib_SE.pdf">this brief</a> when stuck as it is the most recent I could find. My teen pregnancy rates for each state are based on the 2010 U.S. Census. The reason I focused on teen pregnancy rates and not abortion rates or STD rates is because I felt it was the best predictor of whether or not sex education works. Abortion rates are dependent on the number of clinics in a given state (which is why conservative states have low abortion rates), and STD rates are also somewhat dependent on the availability of care facilities. I believe there have been a few more recent studies on the subject, but they were either not on a state by state basis, or I had trouble verifying their claims. For any religious information, I used <a href="http://religions.pewforum.org/maps">this source</a>. All age of consent laws were taken from Wikipedia.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>The inspiration for this article, other than my interest in sex education, was an <a href="http://www.wgrz.com/news/article/202990/0/New-Yorks-Teen-Abortion-Rate-Highest-in-Nation-">article</a> stating that my home state of New York had assumed the highest teen abortion rate in the country. What struck me was that the article did little to address the root cause of the issue: teen pregnancies. In fact, most anti-abortion efforts seem reluctant to head the problem off at the pass so to speak.<br />
<br />
Thus I sought to discover whether or not there was one factor, or a combination of factors that would produce significantly lower teen pregnancy rates based on the state by state data. My path was a little meandering but with so many varied points, I don't know any better way to present the data. Oh, and for a point of comparison, the National Average at the time of the study was 34.2 pregnancies per 1,000 teens.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Age of Consent Laws</u></b><br />
My first stop was at the absolute age of consent laws for each state. By that I mean, at what age is someone judged able to consent to sex with anyone else of any age? For each state and the District of Columbia, this is either 16, 17, or 18 (ignoring odd legal precedents set with consenting minors and things like that).<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Age 16 (n=31) - 34.0 </li>
<li>Age 17 (9) - 38.8</li>
<li>Age 18 (11) - 31.5</li>
</ul>
<br />
All this really did was show that age is no indicator of sexual maturity. Interview a hundred different 16 year olds, and you'll likely get a hundred different levels of ability to handle the world.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Romeo And Juliet Laws</u></b><br />
For those that aren't aware, Romeo and Juliet laws are laws that allow for consenting sex between two people of non-consenting ages if their ages are close to one another. For example, Connecticut (16) gives a 12 year old the ability to consent to a 13 year old, and Delaware (18) gives a 16 or 17 year old the ability to consent to someone younger than thirty.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Age 12 (2) - 20.6</li>
<li>Age 13 (5) - 30.3</li>
<li>Age 14 (7) - 35.0</li>
<li>Age 15 (4) - 26.7</li>
<li>Age 16 (20) - 36.2</li>
<li>Age 17 (8) - 39.5</li>
<li>Age 18 (5) - 32.3</li>
</ul>
<br />
Of course, each age is inclusive of the ones below it, so I looked at the numbers that way as well.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>12 and Under (2) - 20.6</li>
<li>13 and Under (7) - 27.5</li>
<li>14 and Under (14) - 31.3</li>
<li>15 and Under (18) - 30.3</li>
<li>16 and Under (38) - 33.4</li>
<li>17 and Under (46) - 34.4</li>
</ul>
<br />
The reason there's such a jump at 16 is because this incorporates a lot of southern states with high teen pregnancy rates. The downside of breaking up a sample size of 51 is that you eventually end up skewing yourself somewhere.<br />
<br />
Again, age indicates very little about a person's capability to make good decisions. However, it stands to reason that if teens in a given state can have sex at an earlier age, they're probably being educated at an earlier age.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Sexual Education</u></b><br />
Sex ed. was where I wanted to find myself eventually because no number of laws is ever going to prevent a behavior that is impossible to enforce. As stated above, this was harder to define than I imagined.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Required to provide any sex ed. (24) - 34.7</li>
<li>Not Required to provide any sex ed. (27) - 33.8</li>
</ul>
<br />
This looks damning for sex ed., but it's not. An over-simplification, this does not tell us anything about what type of sex ed. is being offered, or whether or not those 'not required' states have some sort of regulations in the event that it is offered in certain schools. Thus I went down a level to sort by those regulations.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Abstinence Only sex ed. (24) - 35.9</li>
<li>Stress Abstinence, but teach other forms of contraception (13) - 34.1</li>
<li>Cover Abstinence, and teach other forms of contraception (10) - 32.0</li>
<li>No sex ed. requirements or regulations (4) - 30.5</li>
</ul>
<br />
There are flaws in this analysis as well. For example, it's difficult to ascertain the prevalence of sex ed. in states that do not require it, but regulate it if taught. And stressing and covering abstinence are two highly subjective terms with a great degree of variation.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Required to provide sex ed. AND include contraception (12) - 32.7</li>
<li>Not required to teach contraception (39) - 34.7</li>
</ul>
<br />
You'd think there would be more of a disparity, but several states with high teen pregnancy rates have decided to start doing something about it.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Religion</u></b><br />
This was mostly out of personal curiosity as there are religious people that have a healthy opinion of sex and pass that down to their kids, and those that do not. Still, these were my two best indicators of high pregnancy rates.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Most religious states (84-94% religiously affiliated) (25) - 37.6</li>
<li>Least religious states (73-83%) (26) - 31.0</li>
<li>Religious top ten (88% +) (with ties) (12) - 41.9</li>
<li>Religious bottom ten (78% -) (10) - 26.5</li>
</ul>
<br />
The halfway line is somewhat arbitrary and features states on either side within a percentage point of each other, which is why I further split things into a top and bottom ten. Of the 12 <b>most </b>religious states, 6 of them (MS, AL, LA, KY, OK, TX) were in the top ten in terms of teen pregnancy rates. Only one (NJ) was in the bottom ten. Of the 10 <b>least </b>religious states, 5 of them (CT, RI, ME, NH, VT) were in the bottom ten in terms of teen pregnancy rates.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Most Evangelicals (25-53%) (26) - 40.3</li>
<li>Fewest Evangelicals (7-24%) (25) - 27.9</li>
<li>Evangelical top ten (36% +) (10) - 44.9</li>
<li>Evangelical bottom ten (excluding too many ties) (9) - 22.3</li>
</ul>
<br />
Again, the halfway line was arbitrary, but the results were damning. Of the 10 <b>most </b>evangelical states, 5 of them (WV, MS, AL, AK, OK) were in the top ten in terms of teen pregnancy rates. Of the 9 <b>least </b>evangelical states, 7 of them (CT, RI, NH, MA, VT, NY, NJ) were in the bottom ten in terms of teen pregnancy rates. Oddly enough, there wasn't much of a difference in the amount of states whose sex ed. curricula included condoms in either category. Like I said, some of the southern states are starting to learn that maybe abstinence-only sex ed. doesn't work so well.<br />
<br />
Finally, I looked at two instances that added several controllable aspects together.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Age of consent 15 or below, Sex ed. required with contraception taught (6) - 24.7</li>
<li>Age of consent 16 or below, sex ed. required with contraception taught (11) - 30.8</li>
</ul>
<br />
Both below the national average.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Final Thoughts</u>:</b><br />
This is an over-simplified analysis. There are many other aspects to consider, among them racial bias, the quality of public schools, the quality and access to healthcare. If you were to ask me for the best solution, I would instill Romeo and Juliet laws in every state to keep from needlessly populating sex offender registries and begin comprehensive (that means condoms) sex education in middle school with condoms widely available.<br />
<br />
If you want to fiddle with my data, <a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/pub?key=0AmadL-UBjUuudGVpNUJXSkJqNHc0VEk5a21fNnUwekE&output=html">here</a>.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-77068753945674356722013-02-22T17:44:00.000-05:002013-02-22T17:44:10.095-05:00Tranny, Nigger, and FaggotIt comes as no secret that the term 'tranny' doesn't sit well with me, having a transgender partner and all. Usually the comparison I make to try and get people to understand is that it's like using 'nigger' to refer to a black person or 'faggot' to refer to a gay person. Especially since it has been an acceptable part of our vernacular for years, much like the other two terms were at one time (and in places, still are). For this reason a lot of people don't consider it to be a slur, and considering the history of the other two, that's perfectly understandable.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Considering the strides that black and LGBT people have made (that are by no means complete) and the disadvantages that transgender people face, I often wonder if 'tranny' is the worst of the three. I'm sure some will point out that since there are so few transgender individuals, that people shouldn't have to censor themselves from using it because they usually won't offend anyone around them.<br />
<br />
To me, that's a part of what makes it so disappointing, that this demographic <i>is</i> small and relatively powerless. Especially since transgender individuals are <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wwjtd/2012/05/murder-statistics-of-transgender-people/">disproportionately likely</a> to be victims of <a href="http://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/2012/december/annual-hate-crimes-report-released/annual-hate-crimes-report-released">bias-motivated violence</a>. Trans women stand a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered, 1 in 8 for trans women of color. That's worse than the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_infant_mortality_rate">infant mortality rate</a> of any country. Transgender women of color are almost as likely to be murdered as they are to die of cancer.<br />
<br />
That having been said, as a writer, I am perhaps more annoyed by political correctness than anyone. Words have exactly as much power as people want to give them. That's why the Pope is famous and Homeless Joe on the street corner isn't even though they might be saying the exact same things. And I don't very much like the idea of there being a list of words I am not allowed to say regardless of my orientation or my ethnicity, or anyone else's.<br />
<br />
That you can use these words with and without hate only muddies the waters. For every person that uses the words 'tranny,' 'faggot,' or 'nigger' as an epithet, there is probably someone who uses one or more of them as terms of endearment or someone that doesn't mean anything at all.<br />
<br />
My inclination, as a writer, is to not hide from these terms or give them (or their users) any more power than they deserve. But at the same time I have to understand that these words have historically been used to project negativity on the group they are describing for those immutable characteristics, and that using them automatically paints me as someone who has a fundamental issue with those groups.<br />
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It's not political correctness, it's being mindful of the lives and experiences of those around us. Maybe some day we'll get to a point where tolerance is the assumed default for every person, but we're not there yet.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-18029192673923523172013-02-07T18:58:00.003-05:002013-02-07T18:58:50.256-05:00Poly People Have Friends TooEver since I broke up with my longtime girlfriend in 2009, I've used OKCupid as a means for meeting people. It's primarily a dating site, but includes options for platonic liaisons, friendships, 'activity partners,' and things like that.<br />
<br />
In relocating to a new city, I've mainly been using it for the latter with the hope (but not requirement) that perhaps one of those friendships might turn out to be something more. Unfortunately listing myself as polyamorous and in a relationship has been a major setback.<br />
<br />
I can understand the fear with which people might approach someone of that nature, not knowing anything about them, or not fully understanding the terms they've attached to themselves. That doesn't do much to curb my frustration when the only response I get in a message is something like "sorry, I'm not into couples." This strikes at me twice, not just because I am poly, but because I am also LGBT.<br />
<br />
You see, one of the key methods in which the religious right has used to denigrate LGBT people is to identify them solely by their sexual practices, and not as loving, committed partners, and...you know...actual human beings. I feel the same way when people visit my profile (and I list that I'm looking for friends at least six times (seriously) in the first paragraph) and only see me in terms of my sexuality. I can't help but picture the homophobic athlete that's afraid of getting leered at by gays in the locker room. Get over yourself.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-57605906794340982792013-02-07T13:17:00.001-05:002013-02-07T13:17:48.721-05:00Corkins, the FRC, and Other ThingsYesterday, Holy Bullies founder Alvin McEwen wrote a controversial post entitled <i><a href="http://www.holybulliesandheadlessmonsters.blogspot.com/2013/02/family-research-council-is-to-blame-for.html">Family Research Council is to Blame for Near Massacre at its Headquarters</a> </i>where he compared the FRC, not to a victim, but to a bully that finally got their ass beat by one of the kids they picked on. And make no mistake, the FRC has done its <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/tony-perkins">fair share</a> of <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/peter-sprigg">anti-gay bullying</a>, bullying that includes financial support for the Ugandan <a href="http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2010/06/03/23232">Kill the Gays Bill</a>.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>The FRC should be applauding Corkins's actions. He only did what every member of the religious right (especially the gun toting ones) has vowed to do ad nauseum with the U.S. government, he stood up to a tyrant. That is, by many people's definition, the most American thing ever. Now those people are insane, and so was Corkins, but the irony is hard to miss.<br />
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRNcQtGJURkVc7UB-3D69-QqeJVwRmsyulk-870VX5qWZfXrI1F" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRNcQtGJURkVc7UB-3D69-QqeJVwRmsyulk-870VX5qWZfXrI1F" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Courtesy of <a href="http://www.back2stonewall.com/">Back to Stonewall</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
Coincidentally, today the FRC released it's annual <a href="http://downloads.frcaction.org/EF/EF12I79.pdf">Hater Scorecard</a>, kind of like the HRC's Equality Index, but the opposite. The scorecard, which tracks politicians on pro-family issues, rates them on a scale of 0-100% based on the following:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><u>House of Representatives</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Defense of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the federal law that defines marriage as being "one man and one woman" and prevents same-sex couples from receiving federal benefits.</li>
<li>Opposition to Medical Marijuana. Note this is actually an <a href="http://www.equalrights4all.org/religious/bible.htm">anti-christian</a> position.</li>
<li>Banning of adoption by same-sex couples.</li>
<li>Repeal of Obamacare.</li>
<li>Opposition to the Presidential Nominations Act which gave Obama more power to appoint officials. (Note that this was passed <a href="http://www.politico.com/blogs/under-the-radar/2012/08/obama-signs-bill-giving-him-more-power-over-appointments-132463.html">with Republican support</a>.)</li>
<li>Banning Abortion on pain-capable unborn children in the District of Columbia.</li>
</ol>
<div>
<b><u>Senate</u></b></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Opposition to confirmation of Jesse M. Furman to U.S. District Court (Southern NY) because Furman opposed allowing access to public buildings by religious organizations.</li>
<li>Support of the Respect for Rights of Conscience Act which would give healthcare providers carte blanche to discriminate based on whatever religious beliefs they might hold.</li>
<li>Opposition to confirmation of Michael Walter Fitzgerald to U.S. District Court (Central District of CA) because Fitzgerald has "promoted homosexual rights" in defending an FBI officer who was dismissed for being gay, and in opposing California's anti-gay Proposition 8. The FRC <i>also</i> says that Fitzgerald should not have been involved in the Prop 8 proceedings because of his "potential conflicts of interest," because apparently anyone who has worked on behalf of LGBT individuals shouldn't be involved in the deliberations of an anti-LGBT law, fuck you very much.</li>
<li>Opposition to the Violence Against Women Act. <b><u>The FRC hates the updated VAWA because it would prevent religious grantees from discriminating against abused LGBT women</u></b>. Seriously. The FRC wants "Christians" to have the ability to tell battered gay women to go fuck themselves.</li>
<li>Opposition to cloture on the David Hurwitz Nomination (U.S. Circuit Judge for 9th Circuit). The FRC calls Hurwitz "incapable of being impartial" because he was a clerk for a Connecticut district judge that ruled in favor of abortion rights. Incapable of being the FRC's puppet is more like it.</li>
<li>Opposition to cloture on the Mari Carmen Aponte Nomination (Ambassador to Republic of El Salvador). Predictably, the FRC doesn't like Aponte because she is pro-LGBT and pro-choice.</li>
<li>Opposition to the Democracy Is Strengthened by Casting Light On Spending in Elections (DISCLOSE) Act. It's difficult to tell what the FRC is getting at here, but I think the DISCLOSE Act would make it more difficult for churches to endorse certain candidates without prompting IRS investigations and/or penalties.</li>
</ol>
<div>
And the FRC has the audacity to call itself a family organization.</div>
</div>
<div>
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catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-89417827452125247672013-01-30T16:00:00.000-05:002013-01-30T16:00:08.019-05:00Stacey Campfield's Death Sentence for Tennessee LGBTStacey Campfield, a Tennessee Senator has authored a <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/01/30/1514051/dont-say-gay-tennessee/">bill</a> that not only bans any discussion of "non-heterosexual sexuality," but also requires school officials to notify parents of a student that might be gay.<br />
<br />
<i><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Calibri, 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A school counselor, nurse, principal or assistant principal from counseling a student</strong><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri, 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px;"> who is engaging in, or who may be at risk of engaging in, behavior injurious to the physical or mental health and well-being of the student or another person; provided, that wherever possible such counseling shall be done in consultation with the student’s parents or legal guardians. </span><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: Calibri, 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Sans', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22.5px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Parents or legal guardians of students who receive such counseling shall be notified as soon as practicable that such counseling has occurred</strong></i><br />
<br />
It's one of the most draconian anti-gay bills I've ever seen. Not only does it give anti-gay bullies a free pass because it bars students from seeking any sort of guidance (note: this <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/one-towns-war-on-gay-teens-20120202">worked out well</a> in Minnesota), but it also puts LGBT students at a serious risk of being disowned by their families. As many are well aware, 30-40% (reports vary) of homeless youth are LGBT, and that LGBT youth that suffer parental condemnation are <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2011/05/13/177415/lgbt-homelessness-family-acceptance/">four times as likely</a> to attempt suicide.<br />
<br />
Someone needs to ask Campfield why he thinks pushing LGBT youth to suicide is a solution to anything.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-4944414337483035452013-01-17T20:51:00.000-05:002013-01-17T20:51:03.366-05:00Speculating on Manti Te'o's SexualityIf you're not a sports fan, or an internet fan, I'll give you a brief rundown of the <a href="http://deadspin.com/5976517/manti-teos-dead-girlfriend-the-most-heartbreaking-and-inspirational-story-of-the-college-football-season-is-a-hoax">Manti Te'o story</a>. Te'o is a linebacker who played for the University of Notre Dame. During this past season, he suffered the heartbreaking deaths of his grandmother and girlfriend in a short span. One problem: the girlfriend is not real, and the name that Te'o thought he was dating does not belong to an actual person.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>There are so many aspects to this story it's difficult to sum them up. But based on the articles that were written around her death and quotes taken from Te'o at the time, we know a few things:<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Te'o lied about meeting the girl after a game against Stanford, which suggests that...</li>
<li>Te'o either knew something wasn't right, or was an active participant in the hoax...OR</li>
<li>Te'o lied to save face with his teammates who were riding him about the girlfriend they'd never met. This is a locker room. I guarantee Te'o was asked on multiple occasions to prove her attractiveness. Which then suggests that...</li>
<li>Te'o is gay and invented a fake girlfriend.</li>
</ul>
<div>
That final speculation has gotten significant play in the media, which prompted an interesting discussion between <a href="http://www.twitter/com/burkieycp">Patrick Burke</a> of the You Can Play Project, and <a href="http://www.twitter.com/cydziegler">Cyd Ziegler</a> of Outspots.com. Burke contended that it was unfair to Te'o for people to speculate on his sexuality. Ziegler countered saying, "I don't see the problem with asking the question."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I<i> </i>don't think Te'o's sexuality is anyone's business but Manti Te'o's. However, I'm not sure wondering if he's gay is actually worse than assuming he's straight, which is the default position, and has (in part) contributed to this whole mess.</div>
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<br />
<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-79433888438520329492013-01-17T01:51:00.002-05:002013-01-17T01:51:20.647-05:00The Stigma of Online DatingIt has started to disappear, with more and more people meeting their partners online, 17% of married couples if you believe a <a href="http://voices.yahoo.com/what-percent-people-meet-their-spouse-online-6705868.html">study recently done</a> by Match.com. Other sources have the number as high as 25%. Still, the notion exists that anyone that has met their partner online was resigned to doing so...as if all other options had failed.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Fuck it. I was going to approach this with a diplomatic tone, but I'm tired of being shit on because I don't drink, party, or club and because of those things I chose, <u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">chose</u> (please bitches, do my pictures look like I took the airbrush fire hose to them? Shit's all natural) to try and meet someone on the internet. Oh and I was successful. Multiple times.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">pictured: badass</span></div>
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I've been on OK Cupid for almost four years now. In that time I've met five people in person, one of which I am still friends with, and another of which is my current partner. To add to that, I've probably met at least another 50 people that I first knew on Twitter or various message boards. Do you know how many bad experiences I have amid all those online-to-real-life shenanigans? Zero.<br />
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Online dating isn't exclusively for old people, ugly people, or emotionally defective people (although many of them certainly do use various sites). It's for all the people that have gone to parties and clubs and social events and realized, "this is fucking stupid. Why am I even here? I hate doing this, why would I want to meet someone that <i>likes </i>it?"<br />
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I'm lucky in that I realized that about myself fairly early and thus avoided many headaches. That isn't to say that online dating is perfect, but for an introvert with introverted interests, it was definitely the way to go. I like to read, and write, and think, and I like other people that do those things. There aren't many 'social' ways to meet others that do. The only going out-type activity that I do is going to the dog park, and even then I don't interact much because I feel that people want to spend time with their dogs, not get hit on by strangers.<br />
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It's also good for people with specific interests, like BDSM. If you partake in 'real' dating, the "can I tie you up?" question usually doesn't come until a point deep in the relationship. Why would you waste all that time if something like that is a dealbreaker?<br />
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Anyway, I think that since people seem to think it's okay to speculate about my personality defects because I use online dating websites, that's only fair that I do the same for anything I can find. (I'm a writer, I'll find a lot.)catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-86457793635310362252013-01-11T17:36:00.002-05:002013-01-11T17:36:43.829-05:00Louie Giglio and the Religious Right SmokescreenLouie Giglio is the pastor that was originally tabbed to give the benediction at Obama's inauguration but has recently withdrawn amid the surfacing of a controversial 1990s sermon in which he called homosexuality a sin (read: practically blew Leviticus). There has been some back and forth in conservative circles over whether Giglio himself withdrew, or whether the White House forced him out with some sort of "withdraw and save face or we're kicking you out," ultimatum.<br />
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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dennyburk">Denny Burk</a> blew <a href="http://www.dennyburk.com/did-the-white-house-force-giglio-out/#comment-121388">smoke out his ass</a> on the issue writing:<br />
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<i>I think that all people of faith are rightly concerned that the White House might have initiated Giglio’s removal. It would be very significant for religious liberty in this country if a sitting President pressured/persuaded/forced the removal of a Christian pastor for his view on sexuality. If that didn’t happen, Americans need to know that. If it did happen, Americans deserve to know that as well.</i><br />
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Which is the sort of preposterous horseshit you can expect from conservatives these days. I commented "<i>I bet LGBT people of faith are pretty psyched about it</i>," which Burk may or may not allow to be seen. Potshots aside, the truth of the matter is that the President and his staff can choose whoever the hell they want to deliver the benediction at the inauguration. And let's be clear, Burk's word choice is incredibly (probably deliberately) poor. No one forced the removal of Giglio. They didn't take away his robe or burn down his church, they (maybe!) said hey, "don't give this benediction." That is worlds different than what a lot of Burk's readers are going to assume.<br />
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I am forced to ask: how is it an affront to religious liberty to not use the services of a guy you don't like?<br />
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It isn't.<br />
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<a href="http://www.worldmeets.us/images/obama.gay.marriage_torontosun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.worldmeets.us/images/obama.gay.marriage_torontosun.jpg" width="318" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Via the <a href="http://www.torontosun.com/">Toronto Sun</a></span></div>
catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-26531715725933974022013-01-08T17:25:00.002-05:002013-01-08T17:25:29.200-05:00Alvin McEwen Writes 'How They See Us: Unmasking the Religious Right War on Gay America'One of the most infuriating things to me is straight people that don't have a problem with, or even support LGBT individuals, but don't understand why they do so much complaining. A perfect example is how the media was allowed to frame the Chick-fil-A issue. A majority of the commentary involved how "gay activists" were attacking CfA President Dan Cathy's right to free speech, when what LGBT people were <i>really</i> upset with is Chick-fil-A's donations in support of anti-gay legislation like <a href="http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/chick-fil-a-profits-are-supporting-ugandas-kill-the-gays-bill/politics/2012/08/01/45430">Uganda's Kill the Gays bill</a>.<br />
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When many paint LGBT bloggers and media members as "cry babies" that are pushing for change that is too radical, too fast, it can be difficult to address and justify as there is so much animus coming in from so many places on the right.<br />
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That's what I like most about Alvin McEwen, author of the blog Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters, and his new publication <i><b><u><a href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/119413856/HowThey-See-Us">How they See Us: Unmasking the Religious Right War on Gay America</a></u></b></i>. McEwen does a great job of not only illustrating how the religious right has worked to denigrate LGBT individuals, but also complies a wide array of quotes from anti-gay individuals and organizations, many of whom are considered "trustworthy" by the mainstream media (Focus on the Family, and the Family Research Council for example).<br />
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So when people ask why we LGBT are so pissed off, and have such loud voices? This. This is why.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-73621316627673390612013-01-04T16:23:00.003-05:002013-01-04T18:51:37.942-05:00Department of Defense at War with Eur-gay-sia<br />
Where do you even begin with the <a href="http://americablog.com/2013/01/dod-gay-website-filter-bullying-suicide-lgbt.html">creepy, Big Brother-esque tactics</a> of the Department of Defense and the internet filtering company they use called Blue Coat? Yesterday a number of liberal bloggers (many of whom are LGBT) found that their sites were blocked on government computers at the Pentagon when similar right-wing sites like Red State, and Breitbart that rely mostly or exclusively on blog contributors went unfiltered.<br />
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The story deepened when the aforementioned bloggers also found that Blue Coat has an entire category devoted to LGBT. And it's not that they're mistakenly being flagged as pornography, they actually have an entire category called "LGBT" devoted exclusively to blocking sites with LGBT content. It turns out that they leave no gay stone left unblocked either:<br />
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<i>"Websites that provide reference materials, news, <b>legal information</b>, <b>anti-bullying and suicide-prevention information</b>, and other resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (“LGBT”) people or that relate to LGBT civil rights. The websites included in this category were selected because they do not contain sexually explicit content and are generally suitable for viewing by all age groups."</i><br />
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Really Department of Defense? Really Blue Coat? Anti-bullying and suicide-prevention materials are blocked even though (and this comes from Blue Coat's own website) "they do not contain sexually explicit content and are generally suitable for viewing by all age groups." In fact, Blue Coat's <a href="http://bluecoat.com/sites/default/files/documents/files/bcs_ds_bcwf_cat_v4b.pdf">URL Categories</a> sheet is even more vague:<br />
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<i>"Sites that provide information regarding, support, promote, or cater to one's sexual orientation or gender identity including, but not limited to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender sites."</i><br />
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By that definition they should be blocking sites that refer to couples in any way. They are not, however, because as we can see in the first link, the National Organization for Marriage's website remains unblocked. Blue Coat seems to have an agenda because when you browse their Violence/Hate/Racism category, you see that they make every possible effort to avoid condemning violence against LGBT:<br />
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<i>"...sites that depict hostility or aggression toward, or denigrate an individual or group on the basis of race, religion, gender, nationality, ethnic origin, or other involuntary characteristics..."</i><br />
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Who knows what the asshat that originally authored these things was actually trying to convey, but it looks to me like they're trying to excuse hate and violence directed at LGBT by implying that these are not involuntary characteristics.<br />
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Of course, Blue Coat has been <a href="https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2011/10/blue-coat-acknowledges-syrian-government-use-its-products">caught doing some sketchy things</a> before...<br />
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<b><a href="http://americablog.com/2013/01/dod-statement-gay-blog-censorship.html">Editor's Note: The DoD has released one of the most factually inaccurate and generally mystifying statements in recent memory. When did Miss South Carolina get a job as their PR spokesperson?</a></b>catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-2206029102141560942012-12-28T16:04:00.000-05:002012-12-28T16:04:17.154-05:00Religious Freedom (To Treat People Like Shit)I hadn't clicked on a National Organization for Marriage link in quite some time. NOM has been reeling since going 0-5 on election night and their articles have trended overseas to countries that still hate the gays as much as they think is appropriate. That was until I saw <a href="http://www.nomblog.com/31952/comment-page-1/#comment-147001">this article</a>, which rehashes an old favorite point of mine that the religious right makes.<br />
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Gay Marriage is a threat to the freedom to treat people like shit.<br />
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For those that don't want to click, an Annapolis company which features trolley rides for newly married couples is shutting down because they hate the gay, and gay marriage is now legal in Maryland. Let's dissect just how dumb this is first:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Anti-discrimination laws are to blame for the trolley owner's decision to shut down. If gay marriage didn't exist, they would still have to provide service to gay people.</li>
<li>Anti-discrimination laws also <u><b>protect</b></u> religious freedom.</li>
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Makes NOM strategist Frank Schubert look pretty stupid when he says "the law doesn't protect people of faith. It just doesn't."<br />
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The best part about the bible is that it doesn't say anything about the evils of endorsing same-sex unions, or the punishment for not condemning same-sex unions. Religious people have come up with that one all on their own out of the blackness of their own hearts. Much of the bible actually endorses treating people pretty well regardless of anything in their background.<br />
<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-21699308012885630892012-12-26T15:29:00.000-05:002012-12-26T15:32:32.946-05:00Hating the Westboro Baptist Church is Counter-ProductiveWho gives a flying fuck about the Westboro Baptist Church? These people are universally recognized as assholes and lunatics. Their tactics are reprehensible to an extreme which is exactly why they don't fucking matter. Getting angry about them, and signing petitions are nice feel-good acts, but ultimately a waste of time. At the end of the day their message isn't going to land with anyone, and they're going to crawl back to Topeka like the pathetic masses of human scum they are. These people are mosquitoes in a room full of tigers.<br />
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Why not get angry about the Catholic Church, the National Organization for Marriage, the Family Research Council, or Focus on the Family? Organizations that have deluded people into thinking that they're any more legitimate. <a href="http://www.politicususa.com/james-dobson-sandy-hook-gods-judgment-america.html">James Dobson</a>, founder of Focus on the Family and the FRC blamed the Sandy Hook tragedy on gays and godlessness. This is an organization with the support of millions whose leaders are routinely paraded around on CNN, Fox, and NBC as experts on theology and family structures.<br />
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The Pope decided that Christmas was a good time to <a href="http://www.politicususa.com/james-dobson-sandy-hook-gods-judgment-america.html">bash the gays</a>. Catholic priests have molested countless children. Almost a <a href="http://religions.pewforum.org/reports">quarter of adults</a> in the United States are Catholic, and many of them willingly give money to these people. Why don't people do something about that instead of spouting off empty disdain for a couple hundred nuts from Kansas?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbEtscTWHyMihjeydoT609N6QsV2qaoO0qRyCJi5o0yblwmUi4V5HzXpsTG5Mf_bAGWpC0-hcCw3hkVs9HXInwI9GQPVHhUonWnwjvzFwjOOFuT-YkGE2Jdo1DohcESJtrkQS2hGD65CQ/s1600/pope+memo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbEtscTWHyMihjeydoT609N6QsV2qaoO0qRyCJi5o0yblwmUi4V5HzXpsTG5Mf_bAGWpC0-hcCw3hkVs9HXInwI9GQPVHhUonWnwjvzFwjOOFuT-YkGE2Jdo1DohcESJtrkQS2hGD65CQ/s400/pope+memo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://macleodcartoons.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html">MacLeod Cartoons</a></td></tr>
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<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-91987305114603597352012-12-14T15:06:00.000-05:002012-12-14T15:06:12.410-05:00Off Topic: School ShootingsThis isn't about me. I want to make that very clear that I am not writing this for any sort of anything for myself. But I do have thoughts and opinions, and I find that putting those to words helps me in these situations. And I also have this platform on which to do so.<br />
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That's the overwhelming thing I feel when I try to find words for something like the Connecticut shooting that happened today. Anything I can or might say draws attention to myself, and that is simply not fair to those that are living with this. I'm not religious, so I don't have any prayers, and any sense of sadness that I feel is woefully inadequate as I sit here so far removed from the incident.<br />
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So I don't want to talk about how awful things like this are, because we all know it. I don't want to say that my thoughts are with the families involved because that seems like a given for any reasonable human being. My response is to begin thinking about solutions. While things like this rip at us emotionally and give us understandable bias, I don't think it's ever too soon to start asking ourselves how we can make things like this as rare as possible.<br />
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The "today is not the time to talk about gun control," mentality seems absurd to me. When you have a wound as vicious as what the shooting in Connecticut has produced, you start working on it right fucking now. To not do so is an insult to everyone that died needlessly.<br />
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At the same time, I don't want to discuss this in such a vacuum. Guns aren't the <i>only</i> problem when it comes to school shootings. If we're going to pursue effective solutions then we have to consider all the factors. We don't know exactly what happened in Connecticut right now so it's easy to focus on the weapon (which we don't know specifically either). But there are mental health discussions to be had, bullying discussions, safety and security discussions, legal discussions, and many, many others.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-57179593352045842492012-12-11T18:55:00.001-05:002012-12-11T18:55:31.584-05:00Bullying ApologistsEvidently a picture of a preschool boy wearing pink shoes that was posted on Facebook <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/11/little-boy-sam-pink-shoes-preschool-photograph_n_2277397.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003">went viral recently</a> prompting a slew of comments about how horrible the mom is for giving other preschoolers fodder with which to bully her son.<br />
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<a href="http://i.huffpost.com/gen/898900/thumbs/o-BOY-PINK-SHOES-570.jpg?6" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gen/898900/thumbs/o-BOY-PINK-SHOES-570.jpg?6" width="298" /></a></div>
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Excuse me? Why is the onus on the (potential) victim to act like everyone else and not on the other kids to stop being (or not be) little shits (and their parents to stop enabling (or not enable) their little shits). That a condemning comment quoted further down in the article is from a woman is even more astounding as her argument is eerily similar to the crap being spewed forth by rape-apologists in regards to victims' supposed slutty attire.<br />
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<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-59384627473235729032012-12-11T17:01:00.003-05:002012-12-11T17:03:10.004-05:00Off Topic: Dog Park Musings - The Breeds I Most and Least Like to Encounter and Why<i style="background-color: white; color: #737373; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Editor's Note: Most of the entries here deal with the LGBT community and the issues that affect us as a group. However, from time to time Adam and I will want to share things from our personal lives. </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">As I've said before, I go to the dog park as often as I can. We have a Siberian Husky - German Shepherd mix and a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, both high energy, working breeds that need a lot of exercise. They need to interact with other dogs that can give them the attention and energy that I cannot on my own.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">In that time, I've encountered at least fifty different breeds on a regular basis, and probably another fifty on an occasional basis. And while each dog is its own unique animal regardless of breed, there are some that seem to be better around my dogs than others. The following is a series of lists based on my observations from probably around 500 dog park visits in the last two years.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b><u>The Breeds I Feel Most Comfortable Playing With My Dogs</u></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">1). <b>Siberian Husky</b> - This one's a no brainer. There is no breed that mixes speed, energy, and bulk like a Husky. They're fast and spirited enough to give my dogs a good workout, large enough to handle wrestling when the dogs are up for it, and their temperament is a perfect blend of friendly and aloof. That my dog is part Husky seems to inspire a certain sort of kinship as she seems to like them best.</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2d/Rhodesian_Ridgeback_ridges.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2d/Rhodesian_Ridgeback_ridges.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">2). <b>Rhodesian Ridgeback</b> - Rhodesians were bred to hunt lions, so they are absolutely fearless, and some can grow to over a hundred pounds. They are incredibly tough, extremely solid dogs without being super bulky. They might be one of the best all-purpose breeds in existence given their strength, size, and speed. Given their demeanor, they're probably one of the least likely breeds to show aggression out of nervousness. When dogs are wrestling and accidents can happen, that's definitely a good trait.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">3). <b>Australian Shepherd </b>- This is basically a repeat of all the reasons I like Huskies. They're fast, decent sized, high energy, and super smart, plus their fur gives them an added barrier against rough play. They're more of a herding dog so they tend to be less up for a straight run than Huskies or Ridgebacks, but they still usually end up being a great playmate.</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4d/Bull_terier_i_bull_terier_miniatura_d46.jpg/728px-Bull_terier_i_bull_terier_miniatura_d46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="328" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4d/Bull_terier_i_bull_terier_miniatura_d46.jpg/728px-Bull_terier_i_bull_terier_miniatura_d46.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">4). <b>English Bull Terrier </b>- English Bull Terriers are like bowling balls with legs. Small, compact, and remarkably tough, they're great for tug-of-war sessions, although not so much for running and wrestling. They're a good sturdy smaller breed, but they tend to lack that Napoleonic aggression you sometimes see in other small breeds (Corgis). The only downside is they will rip your toys to shreds. Our dogs are more runners so they tend to leave them alone though.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">5). <b>Great Danes </b>- Danes have a reputation for being lumbering gentle giants, and while they certainly are that, they can be super playful too, especially as puppies. They're definitely big enough to be able to handle any sort of rough play, but also goofy and clumsy enough to even the score a little bit with our smaller dogs. When my Husky gets running with them, it looks like a dog running with a couple of deer.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b><u>The Calmest Breeds</u></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">1). <b>Irish Wolfhound </b>- Wolfhounds are a little frightening to some, being the largest (height-wise) breed and having been bred to hunt wolves, but they're also one of the gentlest breeds in existence. Not recommended for any sort of guarding activity, these dogs just want to lope around the park at their own leisurely pace. They're supposedly great coursing dogs, but I've never actually seen one run.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">2). <b>Basset Hound </b>- I always have a hard time believing these are hunting dogs, because every one I've seen has looked like he was laboring just dragging his ears around. They're the kind of dogs that my dogs quickly pass over because they're just not very interesting to them, but I'm sure they make great pets.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">3). <b>Leonberger </b>- Most larger breeds tend to be relatively calm, and Leonbergers are no different. Every once in a while I'll see a younger one that wants to romp around, but mostly they just slowly wander, oblivious to whatever the weather is.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">4). <b>Alaskan Malamute </b>- Very similar to the Husky, Malamutes are larger, slower, and generally more docile. Most of the ones I've seen act similarly to the Leonberger, just strolling the park at their own pace, occasionally breaking to head into one of the fields to sniff around. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">Most of the people that bring their dogs to the park do so because of their energy, so I have to end this list at four.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b><u>The Most Unpredictable Breeds / The Breeds I Least Like To Encounter</u></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">1). <b>Golden Retriever </b>- If I was here to be a jerk, the Golden Retriever would occupy each of the top five spots. If you gave me a room full of family owned Retrievers and a room full of family owned Bully Breeds, I'm avoiding the Retrievers every single time. They are the most unpredictable dog, they're big enough to do some damage, and there seem to be more stupid retriever owners than any other breed. There are at least three Retrievers at our dog park that have to be muzzled to go there.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">This probably has a lot of people wondering why I am so opposed to the stereotypical American family dog, a breed that is often rated as the <i>best</i> family dog. And the answer is largely found within that sentence. Because retrievers are so common and so popular, there are <i>so</i> many owners that have them without a good understanding of dog behavior. They are a lot of people's first dog, and as such a lot of them come with poor training and a whole host of neuroses.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">They also happen to be one of the most trainable breeds, which leaves their owners without a respect and understanding what more difficult dogs are like. To them, a dog is a creature that wants to be your friend. Tail wags are good, and any sort of noise is bad. They have absolutely no understanding of what is typical behavior for a Shepherd, or a Husky, or a Corgi or any number of more rambunctious breeds that aren't the least bit dangerous.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">In conjunction with the issues above (and also partly because of them), they're often poorly socialized. One of the worst things you can encounter at a dog park is a poorly socialized older dog, because that leads to nervousness, which then leads to aggression. Retrievers also most often have the habit of engaging a dog in play and then running and hiding behind their owner. It sounds cute, but it's incredibly annoying because it ends with another dog barreling into the retriever owner's legs, or getting ticked off and starting to bark.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">I've even had a few professionals tell me that the dogs that make them the most nervous are the Retrievers and Doodles (Retriever-Poodle) for the reasons listed above.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">My dogs have had great experience playing with Golden Retrievers, but more often, I see at least one of the above.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">2). <b>Dachshund </b>- This goes for a lot of little dogs because their owners think their yappiness is cute and don't do anything about it, but Dachshunds tend to be particularly nasty. Of the relatively few major incidents at the dog park I went to in New York, several of them were caused by, or involved Dachshunds. Luckily for the most part our dogs don't really bother with small dogs.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">3). <b>Chihuahua </b>- Of all the breeds I've encountered, Chihuahuas seem to object the most to simply being sniffed. A lot of it probably comes from nervousness and poor socialization, but it may just be the fact that they're small. I can see it in my dog's eyes when she inspects a Chihuahua and it snaps at her, "Jesus fucking Christ...calm down."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">4). <b>German</b> <b>Shepherd </b>- Shepherds seem to come in two types, the overly aggressive, and the overly fearful, and I don't think I'm suffering from a lack of sample size here as they're pretty common. I've had a lot of minor incidents with Shepherds where one dog or the other ends up getting spooked, but nothing major or dangerous. I don't worry too much since they're relatively robust, but the unpredictability is disconcerting.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">5). <b>Greyhound </b>- Mostly Greyhounds just want to be left alone, and they will let your dog know it. Some of this is in coming from New York where a vast majority of the Greyhounds are former racing dogs that are rescues, and rescues themselves can at times be unpredictable. The nastiest snarls I've ever seen going to dog parks have come from Greyhounds, but I've never seen one do anything more than growl.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b><u>What Did I Leave Off?</u></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Staffordshire Terrier (Pit Bull)</b> - I know the stigma that pit bull breeds get, and the fact that so many are rescues gives it a little bit of basis, but I have no issue with any of the breeds or mixes that are called pitbulls themselves. I've seen a couple dominance altercations between them, and they do sound terrifying, but I've never seen a pit bull seriously injure another dog. I know it happens, but I think that's more attributed to most of them being rescues than it is the dogs as a whole.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Wolfdog (wolf - dog cross)</b> - While not an actual breed either, they frequent many of the "most dangerous dog" lists that you'll see. I've only seen maybe 4 or 5 in person, but I have never seen any hint of danger from any of them. My dog has played with one before with no issue. Temperament-wise, they remind me a lot of Alaskan Malamutes where they typically just want to do their own thing. I saw a boxer-mix attempt to dominate a 9 month old German Shepherd - wolf mix which is a situation tailor made for a dog to lash out due to nervousness, and the wolfdog did nothing. There is in fact no scientific research that suggests they are more prone to aggression than any dog breed, just a series of horror stories that are probably due to bad upbringing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><b>Rottweiler </b>- I don't see too many Rotts, but more than a few. They are big solid dogs, and they have the strongest bite of any dog, which is probably why they're so feared. The problem isn't necessarily that Rotts (or any bully breed) are more prone to aggression to other breeds, it's just that a larger percentage of their attacks cause significant damage.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">There are plenty of stereotypes that ring true. Corgis and Hounds are loud and annoying, Vizslas and Pointers have no concept of personal space, Border Collies never stop moving, and Bulldogs coat everything in their saliva. Some of these things are more bothersome than others, but every breed is capable of being a good dog. It just takes a good owner.</span></span>catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-47200657929809786712012-12-10T17:00:00.000-05:002012-12-10T17:00:18.798-05:00ESPN980, Steve Czaban, Andy Pollin, and BigotryIn case you missed it ESPN980's (Washington DC) Steve Czaban and Andy Pollin let loose an <a href="http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/2012/12/10/espn-radios-steve-czaban-and-andy-pollin-in-horrific-anti-transgender-rant/">anti-trans tirade</a> for the ages when talking about transgender college basketball player Gabrielle Ludwig. Amid referring to her as 'it' and saying that 'it' is the politically correct term for transgender individuals, Czaban and Pollin also belittled her appearance and advised against her playing sports.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Which is a <i>great</i> message to send to transgender kids, that they're gross, shouldn't play sports, and aren't <i>real</i> human beings. Czaban and Pollin later apologized for the 'it' part, but not all that other stuff that makes transgender individuals feel like completely unwelcome freaks and makes them want to kill themselves.<br />
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This one hits close to home, not just because my partner is transgender and moved from the MD-DC-VA area <i>because</i> of shit like this, but also because I know transgender individuals currently living in that region. And while Maryland and DC may have legalized marriage equality, the former is by no means universally supportive of LGBT rights.<br />
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But, in Washington DC at least, transgender individuals are not without allies as the city recently unveiled a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/19/washington-dc-transgender-gender-identity-respect-campaign_n_1894843.html">very trans-supportive ad campaign</a>.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-7717010596402832892012-12-06T20:32:00.006-05:002012-12-06T20:32:54.710-05:00Off Topic: Dangerous Dog Breeds<div>
I think it's important to start with my history. I don't have any sort of official background with dogs. My family got our first lab when I was 10 or 11, and a few months after she died 13 years later, we got a lab-pointer mix. I myself own a Siberian Husky - German Shepherd mix along with my partner's Pembroke Welsh Corgi, who has the AKC papers to prove that he's better than your dog. I've gone to the dog park almost every day for the past two years, and every day except five or six total since moving here to Seattle. Over that time I've become pretty good friends with a few of the professional dog walkers and trainers that frequent the park, along with several people that have some breeding experience. So while not an expert, I think the moniker of 'knowledgeable amateur' fits.</div>
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As a kid, I actually didn't like dogs, mostly just because I had only grown up with cats. That all changed when my family got our first dog in 1997 when I was 10 years old. Sparkles was, and still is the most well behaved dog I've ever seen, which is pretty typical of most types of lab. While there are other breeds that are generally smarter and more trainable, labs have a certain amount of agreeability bred into them that makes them very easy to handle.</div>
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It also tends to make their owners idiots at dog parts because they aren't aware of typical behaviors of "real" dogs. This reason primarily makes Golden Retrievers and Golden Retriever-Poodles (Doodles) the breed I least like to encounter. A few discussions with individuals that <i>are</i> professionals has revealed that they can be difficult independent of their owners. I've met a few pro dog walkers and Animal Control Officers that are wary of them as well.</div>
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But as the saying goes, "there are no bad dogs, only bad owners." Unfortunately it isn't true, but not in the way that people think. There are absolutely bad dogs, just as there are bad owners, but that doesn't necessarily mean there are bad breeds. An individual dog's history is just as important as that particular dog's lineage, if not more so. The "bully breeds" get a bad reputation because they're the most physically capable of causing damage, but not necessarily the most temperamental.</div>
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Researchers at The University of Pennsylvania published a <a href="http://fortheloveofthedogblog.com/news-updates/the-most-aggressive-dog-breeds-dachshund-1">study on aggression</a> in common dog breeds. The highest rated bully breed was the Pitbull (not technically a breed), which came in 8th. The top three? Dachshund, Chihuahua, Beagle, all smaller dogs. Many lists that claim to track dog aggression do so through the number of attacks, which unfairly stigmatizes larger dogs. When a Chihuahua chomps down on your hand, it's "cute," but when a Rottweiler does it, it's an emergency room visit, even though the Chihuahua might have been acting aggressively and the Rottweiler might only have been guilty of having a strong jaw.</div>
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It's the same story with wolfdogs (hybrid, a commonly used term, is a misnomer as it implies the combination of separate species, of which wolves and dogs are not). Not only do wolfdogs often cause the problems with insurance and housing that bully breeds do, they're actually illegal to own in many places. This comes in spite of the lack of scientific evidence to suggest that they're more aggressive than other breeds. (Very little research of any type has been done on wolfdogs.) I've grown curious about them lately, having seen a few in the area. Despite the name, which tends to give even the most knowledgeable dog owner pause, the ones I've encountered have all been pretty docile, displaying none of the traits the scare-lists would have you think are common among them all.</div>
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That the pro-wolfdog camp doesn't completely refute these claims is encouraging. The temperament, they say, hinges on the skill of the owner. Often it is poor owners that produce wolfdogs that are everyone's worst nightmare, not the dogs themselves. It is interesting that they would partially agree without refuting the claims outright, something I think suggests merit in the assertion that wolfdogs are no more prone to aggression than other breeds. In any event, I find it unfair that a dog would suffer because of things that are not their fault, and that goes for wolfdogs and bully breeds alike.</div>
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catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-46927658781214355392012-12-05T16:59:00.002-05:002012-12-05T16:59:32.144-05:00Those Poor ChristiansI've seen this 'confession' by Ben Stein making the rounds on my Facebook timeline recently, unfortunately by a few people who I respect. And while I'm certain that their agreement is with the sentiment, and not the words, I felt the need to tackle it anyway. Since I find these things are often best dissected piece by piece, I will do my dirty work in that manner. Ben Stein, for those who don't know, is the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=clear+eyes+ben+stein&oq=clear+eyes+ben&gs_l=youtube-reduced.3.0.0l2.222885.225331.0.226110.14.8.0.6.6.0.106.463.7j1.8.0...0.0...1ac.1.7cKe6D3bJW8">Clear Eyes</a> shill with the notoriously monotone voice who has also hosted a couple of game shows. He also happens to be a creationist young earth proponent with a reputation for <a href="http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2006/10/02/100">ignoring the science he doesn't like</a>. The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary:<br />
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<a name='more'></a><i>My confession:</i><br />
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<i>I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.</i><br />
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<i>It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.</i><br />
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Credit to Stein, opening with a personal story is a great way to hook your reader and get them to ignore the fact that one person's personal experience has (and should have) no bearing on the rest of society. Ben Stein isn't offended, good for him. I have relatives who aren't offended by the word 'nigger.'<br />
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<i>I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.</i><br />
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Explain to me this phenomenon of Christians getting "pushed around." I must have missed the part in our country's history where American politics wasn't so thoroughly dominated by Christians. Unlike Blacks, Women, LGBT, Native Americans, and Japanese, being Christian has never been used as a justification for denying someone the right to vote, get married, or live on their own land.<br />
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However, I can help Stein out. The concept of America being an explicitly atheist country came from Stein's own addled brain. I don't think Stein understands the difference in being persecuted, and in no longer enjoying a major advantage you once held. I was born five years before either of my two siblings. So for five years, all their attention was on me, my school projects made up 100% of the fridge space, and I earned 100% of the praise. Then my sisters came along and those numbers dipped. That's not persecution, that's fairness. And while I personally feel that this whole back and forth over Christmas and holiday trees and all that crap is, at times, a little stupid, it is <i>not </i>persecution.<br />
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<i>Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.</i><br />
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Moving beyond the obvious irony that Stein is one such celebrity, where did he get this idea that people aren't allowed to worship God? I don't see any churches being torn down (you know, except the Mosques that Christians are burning), I don't see anyone protesting the construction of new churches (you know, except the Mosques that Christians don't want built), and I don't see teachers eyeing their students to make sure none of them are praying before a big test. Oh riiight, kids aren't allowed to pray in schools.<br />
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Kids are <i>absolutely</i> allowed to pray in schools. However, there is a difference between personal, private prayers that can encompass many individual biblical and non-biblical viewpoints, and state-sponsored, school official-led prayers in one religion or denomination.<br />
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<i>In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.</i><br />
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<i>Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her: “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said: “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”</i><br />
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Can someone please explain to me how that was a profound and insightful response? At least it avoided the "because everything happens for a reason" (existentialism, how cute) cliche. And at least Graham is technically right in the sense that atheism <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/on-faith/poll-shows-atheism-on-the-rise-in-the-us/2012/08/13/90020fd6-e57d-11e1-9739-eef99c5fb285_story.html">is on the rise</a> in the United States, growing from 1% in 2005 to 5% in 2012. Which calls into question the patience of God as 4% isn't exactly a large number. More likely Graham is thinking of the much more profound rise in agnostics and non-affiliated individuals which increased from 27% to 40% in that same span. (Note that atheists are included in this group.) But being agnostic or unaffiliated isn't telling God to get out of your life, it's telling Christians. When you frame the phenomenon like that, it's easy to see why the Christian establishment is getting fidgety. They're losing power.<br />
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<i>In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbour as yourself. And we said OK.</i><br />
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<i>Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.</i><br />
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<i>Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.</i><br />
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Might I offer an answer? Could it possibly be because the Bible is incredibly hypocritical, and that Christians aren't any better? <br />
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<li>"Thou shalt not kill!" (Exodus 20:13) </li>
<li>"Kill the witches!" (Exodus 20:17 Well that didn't take long.)</li>
<li>"Kill the fags with rocks!" (Leviticus...20:13? Really? Weird.) </li>
<li>"Kill the nonbelievers!" (Deuteronomy 17:12) </li>
<li>"Kill the fortune tellers with rocks too!" (Leviticus 20:27) </li>
<li>"Kill the bratty kids!" (Leviticus 20:9) </li>
<li>"Kill the adulterers!" (Leviticus 20:10) </li>
<li>"Kill all the humans if one guy is a nonbeliever!" (Deuteronomy 13:13-19) (Hey, maybe Graham was onto something.)</li>
<li>"Oh shit, we're running out of rocks!" (Leviticus 24:10-16)</li>
<li>"Let's get the big rocks!" (Joshua 8:1-29)</li>
<li>"God, we're out of rocks, you do it!" (2 Kings 19:35)</li>
<li>Uganda's Kill the Gays Bill "upholds moral conduct." - <a href="http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/tony-perkins-in-2010-said-ugandas-kill-the-gays-bill-upholds-moral-conduct/politics/2012/08/17/46846">Tony Perkins</a>, head of the Family Research Council</li>
<li>Marriage equality supporters should be "cast into the sea." - <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/maine-mike-heath">No Special Rights PAC</a> head Mike Heath</li>
<li>"We will launch the Armageddon of the marriage battle in this country." - Regional Fellowship of International Churches Bishop <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/maryland-harry-jackson">Harry Jackson</a></li>
<li>"Tolerance is not something to be pursued." - <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/washington-joseph-backholm">Preserve Marriage Washington Chairman</a> Joseph Blackholm</li>
<li>"No disrespect to our Native American friends, but this is where you hang a bloody scalp over the gallery rail. You hang these four Republican scalps over the Senate rail and every other Republican senator looks up and sees those scalps and says, ‘my gosh, I’ll be hanging up there beside them if I don’t stay with this pro-family stuff.’ And that’s exactly what has to happen." - WallBuilders host <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/david-barton">David Barton</a></li>
<li>“If we’re struggling with a homosexual, same-sex desire, LET THE BIBLE KILL YOU, rather than make it easier for you, and say well, there must be a better scriptural answer to this … Brothers and sisters, let the Bible kill you rather than you twist the scriptures! And in that killing, it will break you so that you can find a redeemer and a savior!” - Head of the Call's <a href="http://www.glaad.org/cap/lou-engle">Lou Engle</a> (Engle also explicitly supported the Ugandan "Kill the Gays" Bill.) </li>
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And these are people who can't even get behind the easiest passage in the bible to get behind. If I wanted to take on "thou shalt not lie," I'd be here all month. These are the people that are acting, or at least presenting themselves as leaders within their Christian communities. And Ben Stein wants to blame a lack of Christianity? Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold (Columbine shooters) were both Christians. James Holmes (Aurora theater shooter) was a Christian. The Virginia Tech shooter was a Christian. In fact, I Binged "<a href="http://www.bing.com/search?q=atheist+school+shooting&go=&qs=n&form=QBLH&pq=atheist+school+shooting&sc=0-13&sp=-1&sk=">atheist school shooting</a>," and I got one individual, who wasn't even American.</div>
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Now this isn't to blame Christianity for those shootings (because that would be a false claim), it's to show how preposterous Stein's supposition is that a lack of godliness is somehow responsible.</div>
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<i>Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.</i></div>
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It was written 2,000 plus years ago by people who thought the earth was flat, why the hell wouldn't you question it? People have such a goddamn issue with other people talking about God because they're not very good at not being assholes about it. You know, like blaming atheism for school shootings.</div>
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<i>Are you laughing yet? </i><i>Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. </i><i>Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.</i></div>
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<i>Pass it on if you think it has merit.</i></div>
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<i>If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.</i></div>
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<i>My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,</i></div>
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Note: I consolidated some of those paragraphs. If Stein didn't have a documented history of being a creationist young earth theorist, I would congratulate him on a brilliant troll of fundamentalist Christians. Unfortunately, his thoughts are genuine and his tone sincere. And as for any claim of Stein's to moral superiority? Well, you can judge for yourselves:<br />
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<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-10127628420038895912012-11-28T17:58:00.002-05:002012-11-28T17:59:05.037-05:00Washington State Looking for Input on Same Sex Marriage CertificatesThis is kind of fun. In a rare moment, I get to talk about something enjoyable instead of dissecting something that some misguided asshole said about LGBT individuals. As you all know, the state of Washington recently voted in favor of Marriage Equality. While this was a great victory for everyone in the state of Washington (and yes, I include you anti-gay Christians, my hope is that you'll come around), in some respects the work is only just beginning. Numerous state forms that were written to only specify heterosexual couples must now be modified to be inclusive. In an interesting move, the Health Department is <a href="http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2019771470_apwamarriagecertificategender.html?sf7523298=1#.ULZJT0AHs6E.twitter">asking the public for suggestions</a>.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>This is a current Washington State Certification:<br />
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Doesn't seem like many changes are really necessary. Here's my proposal, hastily drawn in Excel. I have put my changes in red text. (Hey, hire me Microsoft.):</div>
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<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-6685335606334409992012-11-18T15:07:00.001-05:002012-11-18T15:07:26.099-05:00Sunday Brief - NOM Thinks You're StupidIf you follow NOM on Twitter, you might have noticed their <a href="http://www.nomblog.com/31032/comment-page-1/#comment-142645">criticism of Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel</a> for "choosing gay marriage over safer streets" because he highlighted Marriage Equality as a priority, and people get murdered in Chicago, and obviously mentioning the former means you don't give a shit about the latter. Or something.<br />
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Amid all this one has to wonder, if NOM is so concerned about the safety of Chicagoans, why isn't it using some of it's massive pile of Catholic dough to aide law enforcement agencies (or maybe to feed the poor, but that's another discussion entirely).<br />
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Therein lies the evil of NOM, it assumes that its supporters are either so stupid (or so vile and willing to lie) that they miss the hypocrisy. Shameful. catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-28043128099022172222012-11-15T17:42:00.000-05:002012-11-15T17:42:03.339-05:00Off Topic - Geek Cred<i style="background-color: white; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Editor's Note: Most of the entries here deal with the LGBT community and the issues that affect us as a group. However, from time to time Adam and I will want to share things from our personal lives. </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are a lot of communities in which people seem to need to possess a certain amount of cred to be considered a <i>real</i> <i>_______.</i> There are street gangs, there is sports fandom, and more and more, we're seeing that it is present in certain circles of nerdiness, particularly when a female wanders into the fold. Nerds hate the "fake" nerd girl. Why?</span></span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://io9.com/5960885/the-myth-of-the-fake-geek-girl">This article</a> would have you think there is some complicated gender fuckery at play. Obviously that's going to be true on some level anytime you throw men and women together, but I don't think it's the driving factor here. I think it is much more simple.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Many nerds (choosing this word for the sake of picking one) were bullied and ridiculed throughout their adolescence for their nerdiness, something that is a key part of their identity. They don't like people (many of which happen to be women) stealing their label without going through any of the suffering. To "real" nerds, non-nerds, new nerds, or superficial nerds (whatever you want to call them) parading around in their "nerdy" things is a lot like the Super Bowl winner's backup punter trash talking the loser's quarterback.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It's not right obviously, "real" nerds lashing out at "fake" nerds is pretty much just a role reversal of the bullying they grew up with, but I can at least understand their frustrations.</span></span>catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-84356065235924686102012-11-14T17:12:00.001-05:002012-11-14T17:12:45.877-05:00A Slavery-Apologist Argument Against Marriage EqualityI encountered the following in the politics subsection of an unrelated message board. I was going to post the quote in its entirety and respond after (because I think it raises several good talking points), but I think it is simply too large for me to be able to do that effectively. I have chopped the entire post down to the relevant portions and fixed the punctuation for readability's sake.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><i>All of these social issues that are a total waste of federal resources and an abuse of federal power [and] should be designated to states in their entirety. marijuana, abortion, gay marriage, etc. Everything. It does NOT belong at the federal level. It is dividing a country and creating hatred and mistrust and everything that spells anarchy between states and people based on goddamn lines on an electoral votes map. </i><br />
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<i>I know people will be upset if states get to regulate social issues because then they still feel like someone else is in charge of their bodies, civil rights, whatever. Here's the deal. you can choose what state to live in. I'm sick of hearing comparisons of gay marriage and right to choose to slavery. It's not the same, it will never be the same. When the north got rid of slavery....the slaves escaped or moved to the north. Then when things cooled off, they went where they wanted to be. No, it's not fair to them. but it's not fair to the millions opposed in a region that people with completely different cultures want to change them.</i><br />
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Wait...did he just say it was unfair to the pro-slavery south that the abolitionist northern culture wanted to change them? That abolishing slavery wasn't a wrong that needed to be corrected <i>right fucking now</i> but needed to come about through gradual social change?<br />
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That point barely holds any weight if you assume that every single LGBT individual is an independent adult that is completely in control of their situation. The "move if you don't like it" argument does absolutely nothing to address the thousands of LGBT minors and their elevated risk of suicide, <b><u>FOUR</u></b> times higher than their peers, and <b><u>EIGHT</u></b> times higher if their parents reject them. In fact, by saying that those states should be allowed to treat LGBT people HOWEVER they want in the name of states' rights is encouraging those numbers to balloon even further. Or to borrow a phrase from Dan Savage, if you endorse such an issue, you live your life on top of a pile of dead gay children that you've helped construct.<br />
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<i>Things won't change overnight. no one should be shoving their shit down the opposed throats. Change takes time. If this power were granted to the state, I would imagine that a huge chunk of states would start allowing those things within their borders. Then it's a bleeding effect. </i><br />
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Oh it's a bleeding effect all right... This entire point is beyond stupid. If you're not fighting for change, how exactly is it supposed to happen?<br />
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<i>I haven't studied Europe, but i'm sure Alex can comment since I know he's only reading political stuff anymore- but i highly, highly doubt that everyone in each respective country immediately [supported] all of these movements at once. It's also fair to point out that the size of our country and historic geographic distribution of wealth dictates that we'd have several very distinct cultures at once. Those small European countries that everyone uses as a model are equivalent to getting Mass, NY, NJ, and RI on the same page. It's not that difficult. </i><br />
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Don't mind if I do.<br />
<ul>
<li>Since 1993 (19 years) - 23 European countries pass Civil Unions laws</li>
<li>Since 2000 (12 years) - 8 European countries pass Marriage Equality laws</li>
<li>No anarchy or world wars in that time.</li>
<li>Since 1992 (20 years) - 17 states (and the District of Columbia) pass Civil Unions laws</li>
<li>Since 2004 (8 years) - 9 states (and the District of Columbia) pass Marriage Equality laws</li>
<li>Anarchy date TBD.</li>
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Now granted 20 years is a long time, but given that it took roughly 100 to go from "slavery is bad" to "hey blacks are people too," that's a pretty immediate change.<br />
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The comparison to Europe is pure gold. The United States is more contentious than Europe because of its geographic distribution and historic cultural influences? Where did all those people come from again? It's a shame that American history classes glaze over the time period leading up to the Revolutionary War. There were colonies that HATED each other because of the influences of their respective European ancestries. In college I lived with exchange students from Spain and the UK, and frequently conversed with others from Germany, Austria, and France. While their time on foreign soil created a certain sense of unity, there were several that HATED each other because of their nationalities. Hell, the British kid, one of the more mild mannered people I've known had to be kept from getting into a fistfight with someone from France. While European countries have a history of working together for the common good, it's a good bet that most Europeans would laugh in your face if you told them that USA regionalism trumped European nationalism. Ask a Czechoslovakian, or a Yugoslavian.</div>
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<i>Please, for the love of God, do not tell me I hate gays, that I don't get it because I'm an entitled heterosexual white man, or anything like that. It's bullshit.</i><br />
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Well, when you argue against LGBT rights because it will get the majority of the population all hot and bothered, what conclusion are people supposed to draw? When you ignore the elevated suicide rates of LGBT teens and say that the people in their hometown should be able to treat them like crap, how <i>do</i> you feel about gays? That it's more important to you that the majority of a state's population <i>feels</i> okay than it is that LGBT individuals be afforded the right to not get fired for their orientation, and the financial benefits to assist in raising their children kind of answers those questions, doesn't it?<br />
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You're right, being a part of every majority doesn't mean that you're prejudiced, or biased, or incapable of being an ally. But it does mean that as a straight white cis-gender male, you do not have the fundamental understanding of what it's like to be non-white, LGBT, or female. Sometimes that means absolutely nothing. There are great allies to a variety of minority communities that aren't members of those communities themselves.<br />
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And sometimes it means you think as the above poster does.<br />
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<br />catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-81901734441862348382012-11-12T14:37:00.001-05:002012-11-12T14:37:23.594-05:00Major League Soccer Gets it Right...Kind OfThe Seattle Sounders' <a href="http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/2012/11/12/major-league-soccer-suspends-seattles-marc-burch-three-games-for-gay-slur/">Marc Burch</a> was caught calling an opponent a "faggot" on camera during last week's playoff match against Real Salt Lake. I've written about this <a href="http://blackbluegold.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/vulgar-opinions-trash-talking-in-hockey-nsfw/">before</a>, when the NHL's Wayne Simmonds was caught doing the same to Sean Avery. The difference is that MLS came down hard on Burch, fining him and suspending him for three games, at least two of which will be playoff games. Meanwhile, the NHL took <a href="http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/2011/09/28/nhl-issues-statement-on-gay-taunts-wont-take-any-action-against-wayne-simmonds/">no action</a> against Wayne Simmonds claiming that the incredibly damning video didn't constitute proof of what he said. Whether the fact that Simmonds is black and had been on the other side of some insensitive comments a week previous, or that the target was Sean Avery (the RSL of the NHL for you soccer fans) played into the NHL's decision is unclear.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Now I think drawing a line in regards to trash talk is impossible, so I'd just as soon not draw one at all, but I applaud MLS for getting it right and being consistent where the NHL failed. At least MLS is willing to send a message to any current and future LGBT athletes that they will be protected from abuse. The NHL isn't willing to take that stance yet, and I say that well aware of <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/play-behind-patrick-burke-bold-effort-using-nhl-143441932.html">NHL rules</a> regarding homophobic slurs, and commissioner Gary Bettman's support of the You Can Play Project. Because talk is cheap, actions matter.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3320900030005626579.post-42222831483217606172012-11-09T16:40:00.000-05:002012-11-09T16:40:47.632-05:00Off Topic - On Writing<i>Editor's Note: Most of the entries here deal with the LGBT community and the issues that affect us as a group. However, from time to time Adam and I will want to share things from our personal lives.
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As some of you are probably aware, my current "job" is <a href="https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/criminallyvu1gar">writing</a> fiction as an <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=alexander+bauer">independent author</a>. Lately, instead of leading off with my Engineering Degree when people ask what I do for a living, I've been telling people that I'm a writer, mainly in the hopes that it will come (financially) true eventually. As you'd expect, there are a lot of common and uncommon questions that come with that admission. These are them:<br />
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<b>What do you write?</b><br />
Mainly fantasy fiction, science fiction, and poetry. I'm more prone to novels than short stories, but I write a healthy dose of both. Sometimes it's nice just to be able to finish something in one or two sittings, rather than over several months. Of my novels:<br />
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<li><b>The Chosen</b> is a modern paranormal fiction tale involving vampires and werewolves. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Chosen-ebook/dp/B004SP0YWM/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1351358935&sr=1-1&keywords=alexander+bauer+the+chosen">Kindle</a> / <a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/69068">Other</a></li>
<li><b>Arnett Tanner Wants to Die</b> is a dystopian scientific novel set in the future. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Arnett-Tanner-Wants-Die-ebook/dp/B005JPZ376/ref=pd_sim_kstore_5">Kindle</a> / <a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/84777">Other</a></li>
<li><b>Skankarella</b> is an adaptation of the Cinderella tale with lesbians. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Skankarella-ebook/dp/B005GMN5YU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350346709&sr=8-1&keywords=skankarella">Kindle</a> / <a href="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/80252">Other</a></li>
<li><b>Kissing Ellen King</b> is the journalistic account of a convicted sex offender. Coming Soon!</li>
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My (in progress and untitled) Nymph Story is another modern paranormal fiction/social commentary.<br />
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<b>How long does it take to write a novel?</b><br />
There'e no set time. Stephen King tries to write two-thousand words per day which equates to 50 days for a 100,000 word novel, not including editing. I tend to binge on writing. Skankarella was written in four days and edited in another two weeks. I finished the second half of <i>Arnett Tanner Wants to Die</i>, about 50,000 words, in two days.<br />
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<b>Where do you publish? How long does it take? </b><br />
I use Kindle's Amazon site (Kindle Direct Publishing), and a site called Smashwords which offers e-books in enough formats to satisfy most other e-readers. The formatting process takes less than five minutes most times and going through the interface and getting the details in takes another five.<br />
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<b>Do you plan your stories out or make it up as you go?</b><br />
It depends entirely on the story, but usually somewhat. I might have a rough outline of what needs to happen, or where the story is going, but I always end up more needs to be added because I can't logically progress from one chapter to the next without it. So a 12 chapter outline might grow into a 25 chapter novel by the end of it. Usually I at least try to have 2-3 planned out in advance so I can just write without having to stop and think where things are going, but often I'll just follow the characters.<br />
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<b>What is your favorite thing to write about?</b><br />
Anything taboo, anything that seems to be left out of mainstream literature. Sex, blowjobs, masturbation, broken English (because that's how people really talk), vile thoughts, and cruelty.<br />
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I'm also partial to scenes where two characters are either on the run on some desolate country highway at night, or in some cabin in the middle of the woods hiding out.<br />
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<b>What do you do about writer's block?</b><br />
I don't really get it. Some writers just stare at a page and nothing comes, but I've never really had that happen to me. If I struggle writing the story itself, then I move to my notes and flesh out things that I want to do later on. I think a lot of it comes from wanting to be perfect the first time, which isn't really possible. Regardless of how hard you try, you're going to find stuff that makes you look like a fourth grade dropout when you go to edit. So I soldier on even when I think what I'm writing is complete crap.<br />
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I'm also not opposed to finding entire chapters unusable or not worth fixing and striking them to start over.<br />
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<b>What genre is the easiest / most difficult to write?</b><br />
Nonfiction or accounts of things that have already happened. Making things up completely off the top of my head is very easy for me. Using something that happened in my own life and having to recap it is very, very difficult. It's one of the reason I don't write (serious) game recaps in my hockey blogging exploits.<br />
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<b>How much do you write a day?</b><br />
I'm known for being an incredibly hard working writer and a pretty lazy editor. When working on a novel, I usually get at least 500 words (~400 words is a page) in a day, and often 1,200 or more. I also tend to binge, so for Skankarella which was 65,000 words and written in 4 days, I averaged 15,000 words a day. When I finished Arnett Tanner Wants to Die, I wrote something like 27,000 words the second to last day and around 15,000 the final day. If you tack on blogging, 1,500+ is probably a good number.<br />
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<b>How much do you change when you edit?</b><br />
The main story line always stays intact, though I will add, move, or remove chapters to control the pacing or flesh out something that needed more development. Some things end up being fairly well written the first time (I only edited Skankarella 2-3 times) and some things need more work (KEK and The Chosen both had 5+ edits).<br />
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<b>What advice would you give to new and/or young writers?</b><br />
Read a lot, write a lot, watch a lot, do a lot. There is a balance to be struck in gaining new perspectives via the work of others, living life, and writing your own stories.<br />
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<b>Where do you get your ideas?</b><br />
I have no idea. It sounds condescending to say they just come to me, but that's what happens. Usually they're 'what if' scenarios where I start with a single point or character and start to think about how that character would react to the world around them, what their motivations are, and so on.<br />
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<b>Who does your cover art?</b><br />
Many of them are photos I've taken, but my friends <a href="http://artistzero.com/">Jeff Wozniak</a> (Arnett Tanner Wants to Die, Skankarella) and Dana Merizzi (Kissing Ellen King) have also done work for me.<br />
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<b>What is the key to good writing?</b><br />
If I knew that, I'd probably be more successful. Or perhaps that's the key to good marketing. I personally enjoy stories that craft a world one can live in, usually via vastness (think Star Trek, Lord of the Rings) more than skilled description. I think writing character that people can easily connect with is more important than anything.<br />
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<b>What's the easiest thing about writing a novel?</b><br />
The actual writing.<br />
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<b>What's the hardest thing about writing a novel?</b><br />
Editing the damn thing when I'm finished, or keeping track of things and avoiding contradictions. Did this person have a one bedroom apartment or a studio? If their brother named Jeff, Jack, or John? Little things that aren't necessarily important to the story, but make you look really bad if you screw them up.catshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01004746443249279755noreply@blogger.com0